Here are my reasons why I should win the “Party Like a Search Engine Rockstar” contest.
The Reasons Why I want to go! (skip these boring reasons and go down to the other list)
1. I turn 30 this coming Monday the 29th. I need this.
2. I’ve recently been able to make some Search Engine Rockstar Money and need to hob-nob with complete search engine rockstars.
3. Last time I was in Vegas I was 13 years old. I was visiting my super religious family that actually went there to watch the G-Rated entertainment. Circus-Circus, white tigers etc… I owe Vegas a really visit.
The Reasons why the other rockstars want me there.
1. Human Shield - I am 5′11″ and 230 pounds. I can curl 135 pounds and am way over due for a beating. If the Search Engine Paprazzi act up and start swinging I can take a beating better than Homer Simpson.
2. I just turned 30 and have something to prove.
3. Partying like a rockstar on the weekends and especially on out of town trips is what I live for. Imagine Frank the Tank out with you. I can easily ratchet up my normal “Rockstar Partiness” to “Search Engine Rockstar Partiness”.
4. I can beat ShoeMoney in thumb-wrestling.
5. I’ll take the fall if the cops get involved.
6. I have been in beerfest training. See video below. I am the last guy to go on the right. I am wearing the dark green polo.
WARNING: Excessive use of the ‘F’ word, but in a fun way which makes it ok.
