There is an epidemic streaking across the urban areas of the world. This affliction causes millions to become isolated and alone every weekend as their friends and acquaintances cut off all communications. A person’s good “rep” can be lost in the blink of an eye because of this horrible syndrome.
As you probably already guessed, I am talking about DREXTING. Drexting is also known as “Drunk Texting” or “Drunken Text Messaging”. You may have also heard of it as Booty Texting. DREXTING is very similar to “Booty Calling” and “Drunk Dialing” and it shares many of the same origins and has almost identical signs and repercussions.
Together we can stop DREXTING! While out on the town or at a party, look for possible DREXTERs. They are often characterized as suddenly withdrawn and constantly holding a cell phone while not using it for talking. As a night out at a bar progresses and it gets closer to “last call”, the likelihood for DREXTING increases.
Warning Signs of a DREXTER
- Obviously Horny
- Often glancing at his/her cellular phone
- Overdue for a “hookup”
- Lives at home and parents are out of town.
Top ways to prevent text messaging!
1. Never drink alone. Agree to stop all friends DREXTs and have them agree to do likewise.
2. Get a designated driver. Knowing that they will leave your drunk ass somewhere while you try to find a fellow BOOTY TEXTER decreases your chance for DREXTING.
3. Bring a date.
4. Leave your phone in a car or with a friend. Guys out with girlfriends have it easy and have the option of putting their phone in the woman’s purse.
5. Get a sweet old monochrome phone. You know, the ones with indiglo that weigh a ton and don’t have texting capabilities. “Bag Phones”, “Car Phones” and Zach Morris type phones are ideal.
How to minimize DREXTING (If you are going to do it, minimize the effects, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS SAFE DREXTING!)
1. SPELL CHECK! — Reread your drunken text message several times. If a trustworthy friend is close by have them read it.
2. DON’T OVER INTERPRET! — Much like instant messaging, incoming DREXT MESSAGES do not have a tone. Even worse DREXTs don’t have emoticons. Read the text carefully and don’t get bent out of shape if it is not nice. It is more than likely that you are misreading the DREXT.
3. DON’T GET UPSET BY DENIAL — If your attempts at obtaining drunken booty are denied, don’t get upset. Chances are that you probably hooked up with this person before and never called him/her back. Males have approximately 3 times the chance of getting denied.
4. ERASE ALL DREXTs — Make sure you erase the incoming, outgoing and draft messages from you mobile phone. Do not leave any proof that a DREXT occurred. If called out on a failed DREXT respond with confused looks. When all else fails… run away, change your name and find a new job.